Adult sons with codependent patterns often find themselves in turmoil, feeling neglected and unable to meet the needs of a parent and a wife.
I see you looking in the mirror; your stance etched upon my brain.
At six I can see everything, your insecurity, guilt & pain.
Dad says it’s my job to keep you happy and mind the little ones,
he promises if I’m good one day soon we’ll have some fun.
I work so hard to please him and try and make mom smile,
but after work he’s tired and angry when mom wants to talk awhile.
I want to make mom happy & see her have some fun
If only it were possible if only it could be done.
The Codependent Mother in Popular Culture
The long running Australian sitcom Mother and Son features the classic portrayal of an emotionally manipulative mother. As she slides into dementia Maggie becomes even more dependent on her son.
Full of misplaced trust and living in denial – Betty Heslop from Muriel’s Wedding. When it comes to her family she sees only what she wants to.
Mrs Bennet from Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice finds that a family issue can bring on an attack of nerves, with pains, flutterings and spasms that assure her of everyone’s full attention.
In struggling to provide a better life for her daughter Veda, Mildred has made a classic “codependent’s contract” in her own mind. She imagines that by pandering to Veda’s every want and need, paying Veda’s debts and giving expensive gifts, the daughter will repay her with love. When the “contract” is broken, Mildred reacts in anger.
10 Steps to Overcome Codependence – Kim Cooper’s best selling ebook and audio.
When couples decide to enter marriage counselling to give their relationship time, attention (& money); they can sometimes find the sessions turn into a kind of battle. As each partner struggles to get the counsellor onside, the couple can end up squaring off in opposing corners.