- Does your marriage make you feel weak rather than strong?
- Does your partner undermine you rather than support you?
- Are you unable to relax and be yourself when they are around?
If you answered yes to any of these questions you may be part of a Narcissistic/Codependent Marriage.
When you read these stories in the news, it may not sound like your family. But if your fights come to push and shove or you throw things or lash out at each other when you are angry, this too is domestic violence.
While many of our articles and books use the phrase domestic abuse but from now on we have decided to use the terms domestic assault, domestic violence or sexual assault instead. In real life situations we have found the term abuse can leave room for doubt, where domestic assault or sexual assault are more descriptive and exact.
What is Domestic Violence?
Any physical assault in a domestic context.
This can take many forms. Violence, threats, breaking household items and throwing things are all forms of domestic violence.
Not only destructive to a person’s health and vitality these may damage confidence, relationships and mental health as well.
Why do People Inflict Domestic Violence on People they Love?
Domestic violence usually begins with a family member who feels vulnerable and poorly equipped to deal with life.
On the outside this person may appear confident and strong, but needing to control their family (and make other people feel bad about themselves) proves this strength is just a show.
Worse, this person may fear abandonment, so divorcing them or threatening to leave them may increase the chance of them seriously hurting their family.
Because of this we suggest you don’t leave or threaten divorce without first getting advice on how to do this safely. You should also know that divorce is not the only option to resolve the aggression.
What if I am the Perpetrator?
You cannot increase your IQ, but happily you can increase your emotional intelligence. Working on this and other personal development skills will help you become more secure as a person. It is certainly possible to learn better ways of commanding respect in your family. The only shame is not admitting that you need help.
What Should I do if I am a Victim?
We offer help for victims to see how their own actions and reactions play into their Narcissistic/Codependent relationship.
No matter how much you feel the innocent victim of domestic violence, statistics show by leaving your partner (and putting all the blame on them for your abusive relationship) you are likely to form exactly the same type of relationship again in the future.
It is vital you take action and learn how to protect yourself. Relying on your partner’s promises to change will never be enough.
If you are in a relationship that is hurting you, I want to share our story with you today. I hope the steps I discovered that helped save our marriage might also help bring peace to your home.
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