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Movie Transcript
Steve: Hi! Welcome to the Love Safety Net Love Boat cruise.
I hope you have your seasick tablets because we are riding the emotional storms at present and this show is about the green eyed monster, Jealousy.
Kim: Jealousy is a terrible emotion and, like seasickness, it can strike without warning and make you feel so ill that you wonder if it will ever pass?
Kim: What purpose can this awful emotion possible have?
Steve: What is Jealousy for?
Kim: Well, the relationships in our life are valuable. They keep us safe in many ways and they are a part of everything that is valuable, worthwhile and enjoyable in life, so it makes sense that we want to protect them.
Jealousy can be a way that we get a warning when our relationships may be in danger from competition.
If this is the case, we do need to take decisive action to ensure that our attachment with our partner, or even perhaps with our children, is secure and that no one is actively or unknowingly seducing our loved ones away from attachment to their family.
If jealousy is something that you experience very often or inappropriately, it can mean that you are lacking healthy skills in attaching to those close to you.
Don’t bring up things you are unhappy about until you see that your partner is listening and feeling good towards you, then be courteous, to the point and have a positive solution to offer.
This is just one way of building attachment and there are many more.
An unhealthy way to attach is to talk about someone or something you both dislike. It is far better if you can explore things you both enjoy, rather than get into the habit of putting other people down.
Jealousy can also be a sign that you have low self worth.
We have a range of audio products that will help with this but, for starters, it is important that you realise that true self worth comes from within.
If you feel inadequate or worthless because of how someone else mistreats you, or you need others praising you to feel good, this might also be a sign that your self worth is low.
Finish the sentence:
I am . . .
and see what great things you can say about yourself and about who you are.
If you have problems with this then maybe you need to do some work on this.
Kim: I used to feel jealous a lot.
Steve: And I used to feel jealous all the time.
Steve: I used to feel jealous that other people were better than me and had more than me. I was jealous of other people’s happiness too.
I am so glad that we got through all that and we are sailing on smooth seas now.
Work on building healthier attachments and your self worth and jealousy will be a thing of the past for you too.
Thanks for joining us on this leg of the love safety net love boat cruise.
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What about when jealousy is because you know/suspect your spouse is engaging in emotional and/or physical connections outside the marriage.
Jealousy is the emotion that warns us our relationship may be threatened. Get as much intel as you can without obsessing or letting your emotions dictate your response in the moment. As you get really clear on what the threat is try and work on strengthening your connection. There is a book I recommend called Hold on to Your Kid’s which will also help with your husband.