{"id":2214,"date":"2016-10-25T22:01:04","date_gmt":"2016-10-25T22:01:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/?p=2214"},"modified":"2018-12-13T09:54:26","modified_gmt":"2018-12-13T09:54:26","slug":"what-is-narcissism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/narcissist\/signs-narcissism\/what-is-narcissism\/","title":{"rendered":"What is Narcissism?"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Causes of Narcissism: Why it\u2019s Getting Worse &amp; What We Can Do <\/span><\/h2>\n<h3>Our Narcissistic\/Codependent Society<\/h3>\n<p>What is narcissism? In today\u2019s show we continue our discussion on how narcissism develops what pressures are making it worse in our society and some ideas of what we can do.<\/p>\n<p><strong>On YouTube:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"wpex-responsive-media\"><\/p>\n<div class=\"container-lazyload preview-lazyload container-youtube js-lazyload--not-loaded\"><a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/QWy6HyQMJkY\" class=\"lazy-load-youtube preview-lazyload preview-youtube\" data-video-title=\"What is Narcissism?\" title=\"Play video &quot;What is Narcissism?&quot;\">https:\/\/youtu.be\/QWy6HyQMJkY<\/a><noscript>Video can&#8217;t be loaded because JavaScript is disabled: <a href=\"https:\/\/youtu.be\/QWy6HyQMJkY\" title=\"What is Narcissism?\">What is Narcissism? (https:\/\/youtu.be\/QWy6HyQMJkY)<\/a><\/noscript><\/div>\n<p><\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong>On Sound Cloud:\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"wpex-responsive-media\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"What is Narcissism? by Kimcooperncm\" width=\"980\" height=\"400\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"no\" src=\"https:\/\/w.soundcloud.com\/player\/?visual=true&#038;url=https%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F289960850&#038;show_artwork=true&#038;maxheight=1000&#038;maxwidth=980\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"PzVULJSKO0\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/audio-series\/reconnect\/\">Reconnect<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" style=\"position: absolute; visibility: hidden;\" title=\"&#8220;Reconnect&#8221; &#8212; TheNCMarriage.com\" src=\"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/audio-series\/reconnect\/embed\/#?secret=CFY8cAfcam#?secret=PzVULJSKO0\" data-secret=\"PzVULJSKO0\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\"  marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Follow Our Narcissistic\/Codependent Society on Twitter: <a class=\" yt-uix-servicelink \" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/KimCooperTNCM\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" data-url=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/KimCooperTNCM\" data-servicelink=\"CC0Q6TgiEwj9v6H6-PbPAhXOmVgKHRT1D0Uo-B0\">https:\/\/twitter.com\/KimCooperTNCM<\/a><br \/>\nInstagram &#8211; <a class=\" yt-uix-servicelink \" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/ourncsociety\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" data-url=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/ourncsociety\/\" data-servicelink=\"CC0Q6TgiEwj9v6H6-PbPAhXOmVgKHRT1D0Uo-B0\">https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/ourncsociety\/<\/a><br \/>\nVisit us on Facebook <a class=\" yt-uix-servicelink \" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/thencmarriage\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" data-url=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/thencmarriage\/\" data-servicelink=\"CC0Q6TgiEwj9v6H6-PbPAhXOmVgKHRT1D0Uo-B0\">https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/thencmarriage\/<\/a><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p1\">Show Transcript:<\/h3>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Hi and welcome to Our Narcissistic\/Codependent Society I am Steve Cooper and Kim is here with me today looking very excited to talk to us . . .<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Ha ha ha &#8211; Yeah!!! I hope we have a lot of couples listening to this show together and if you are on your own you might want to see if your partner wants to join you in listening to this one. \u00a0Narcissism isn\u2019t something we should be scared of talking about. \u00a0It\u2019s something that\u2019s in all of us and it\u2019s something we need to look at if we want more love and understanding in our homes. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: We had some great comments again on the last show &#8211; do you think we should start the show there? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Yes we will get to them in a moment, but first I want everyone to stop and get a pen and a piece of paper. \u00a0Stop right now and find something to write with, because I am about to do an exercise that I think<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>is probably going to help you understand yourself and your marriage maybe\u00a0better than anything you\u2019ve ever experienced before. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Okay, wow Kim, so that is why you have this paper and pen here ready for me? (Laughing) <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Yeah. You don\u2019t get to sit this one out NO.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Ok cool. I\u2019m ready!<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Okay &#8211; First for the comments. As most of them were about codependence I\u2019m going to save them for our show in a couple of days on what codependence is all about. But there was one very good comment on narcissism and I\u2019m going to get to that a little later in the show as it really gave such a clear description of the dynamic that I would like to do the exercise I have got for everyone first.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Ohh you mean so we gotta get in the picture and ready to see the narcissism in ourselves then?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Yes sure, so if you\u2019re doing this together NO PEEKING at each others answers. \u00a0Because this is about you and no one else. \u00a0If you fib to yourself and try and make yourself look better, you\u2019re really just going to miss out on all the great stuff you can gain from this exercise.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: And you know Kim I\u2019m really learning it&#8217;s ugly too. Lying and trying to make yourself look better &#8211; usually just ends up making you look a goose. People are a lot warmer when you can admit your mistakes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: So have you got the courage to be honest? Here\u2019s the test . . .<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I want you to write down your answers to these questions and you too Steve.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: I\u2019m ready I got my pen and paper!<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: But we don\u2019t want you writing about each other OK? This is not about starting fights! Just answer the questions for yourself and then leave your partner out of it. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Okay so here we go . .\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Question Number 1. \u00a0<\/span>Is \u201cHow has life been unfair to you?\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Hmmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim : This should be an easy one right? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Yeah . . .<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Inequality is certainly rampant in our world, but I think just about everyone has their own injustices to bear. I\u2019ve known plenty of rich people who\u2019ve still been dealt a pretty rough hand. \u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s1\">So Steve have you got any ideas that might help people really put their deepest inner truth into their answers to this one? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">What do you think some of the major themes will be?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Well you know I just always go back to a very important moment in my life when my mum told me that she was divorcing my dad and I was pretty young at the time, I was only 9 years old and at that stage people weren\u2019t divorcing very much. None of my friends parents were divorced. So I really felt this whole shattering of my world around me when she told me that it was going to happen. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Hmmm<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: And things did get bad after that. \u00a0I had an abusive step father and dad\u2019s whole emotional world got dragged into the sunshine for everyone to see how badly he was managing his own emotional world and that affected me and anyway . . . <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Okay . . .\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Crazy stuff.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: So your getting right into this<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Hmmm. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: And your even jumping ahead on to some of the later questions. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Ha ha, can\u2019t help it!<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: But like, maybe you can just give some ideas to people about<\/span><span class=\"s1\">\u00a0the kind of things in general in society that we might feel that life has been unfair to us. Just give people some inspiration. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: I got some other things too like I was covered in acne when I was a teenager. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Ahhh ha ha <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: And all my friends weren\u2019t and they ate really garbage food and I tried not to eat garbage food but I was still covered in acne.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Yep. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Also I only have to look at a piece of cake and I put weight on.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Aww you and me!<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Yeah both of us. So it like<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: It\u2019s not fair. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: You see other people, people I work with, eat two whole chickens for lunch and their just skinny and their fine and I just put on weight so easily and I think that\u2019s pretty unfair. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Yeah, so this is a pretty easy one right? You know we can think of a lot of ways that life has been unfair to us? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Yeah, yeah, yeah that\u2019s all just like bad luck, <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Yep.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Unfair Yeah, okay<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim:<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>So your going to <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: So I should write all this down today?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Yeah yeah have you got some stuff written down there? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Okay,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>acne,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>yeah . . . <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Okay so hopefully everyone else has some answers that they have written down. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">So Question 2. Is \u201cWhat unrealistic expectations has society put on you?\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Again maybe you can give us some ideas? Some inspiration? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Sure well I think umm, you know from my perspective we are expected to work way too hard, way to much. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: hmmm . . .<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: I think two days a week off, five days on is crazy. It should be more like three and four. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Yep. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: I also think that society doesn\u2019t allow us to explore ourselves too much creatively. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: I think all of us, men as much as women, all have some creative flair. Whether it is tactile or performance or fine arts &#8211; whatever. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Mmmm . . .<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: We\u2019ve all got a creative seed in us that needs nurturing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Ah huh.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: And I don\u2019t think society allows us to do that much.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Society expects us to work way too much, I think to our own detriment. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: And what about women? What are the unrealistic expectations society has on women that might be different from men?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Ahhh I think they are numerous but I think women are expected to do all of the unpaid crappy labor <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Mmm huh. <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Which is sort of domestic stuff, nursing, teaching, caring. All the real hard low paid stuff. Cleaning. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: It\u2019s nice your aware of that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Mmmmmm\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: I mean it is good to share that stuff. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Share the low paid work? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: And yeah the unpaid labor too. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"> Steve: Yeah I think we should be sharing it much more and think men would be happier if they did more of it too. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Okay so hopefully everyone\u2019s has had a chance to answer that for themselves, what unrealistic expectations do you feel society has put on you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Okay so Question 3. What Unrealistic expectations did your parents or teachers put on you as a kid?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Ohhh??? Well let me ask you that Kim? What happened to you in that situation? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Aww hang on that\u2019s not fair. I wasn\u2019t expecting that<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Okay, so you want me to keep talking and write it down?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Ummm what do you reckon? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Well okay. \u00a0Well I had to grow up really fast when I was about 15 years old when I became the man of the household after my mum&#8217;s<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>marriage failed and it was pretty weird because I was 15 and didn\u2019t have a clue. But I started learning, it was okay in the end, but it was pretty unrealistic.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">And also my teachers, I was always a bright kid in school, and I was always somebody that had some answers so all the teachers thought I was really confident but actually wasn\u2019t and they thought I was a great student but I really wasn\u2019t, like I really struggled with handwriting and spelling and everything but just because I liked to talked a lot they<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span>thought I was bright. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"> Kim: Yep <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: So it was just a simple thing you know. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Yep. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Unrealistic expectations. They thought, aww great student.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">And of course I failed my high<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>school leaving certificate. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Hmmmmmm. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">That was pretty embarrassing to admit.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: You went back and you did it again though. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve:<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Yeah that was embarrassing going back to do it. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Yeah but it was good that you did. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Yeah that\u2019s true I\u2019m glad I did. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Hmmm So I guess for me it was kind of similar but you know where I went to school they streamed off all the high intelligence kids and my dad decided that he didn\u2019t want me sorta of getting any elitist idea about myself (laughing) and so I should just go to the normal school, I shouldn\u2019t actually go to the school for the high intelligence kids, but I don\u2019t think he\u2019d factored in that all the other high intelligence kids had actually gone to the other school and so I was a bit of a sitting duck target at the school I had been left at and that led to a whole bunch of unrealistic expectations on me because all of the teachers at the school<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span>knew that I had a higher IQ than most of the other kids in the class and so did my parents and so even though I was getting pretty much straight A\u2019s they were telling me that wasn\u2019t enough, because I was different and better than everyone else and I still should be working harder, which was just weird really. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: There\u2019s a lot of crazy thinking out there like that I\u2019ve found in society. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: (Laughing) It was really crazy thinking. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: You\u2019ve gotta be careful. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim:<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Because I didn\u2019t feel like I was better than anybody else or superior to anybody else, I actually felt like a complete social misfit and a fish out of water. And also like they were all being terribly unfair. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Well you are pretty intelligent Kim I can\u2019t believe how fast you can read books and how much of it you can remember. <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Ha ha ha . . .<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>thanks!<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: It\u2019s kind of a crazy gift you have, <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Well . . .<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: It freaks me out a little bit.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"> Kim: Ha ha, hey you know intelligence isn\u2019t everything. It just means you\u2019ve got more ways of solving problems really. It doesn\u2019t necessarily mean your going to choose the right solution. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Yeah right. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Okay, so hopefully everybody has had a chance to answer that for themselves.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>What unrealistic expectations did your parents or teachers put on you as a kid. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Okay so how did you learn to deal with it back then when you felt you couldn\u2019t cut it? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Uhhhhh<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Okay so we are talking about the past. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Uhhhh<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: So that one is really easy for me to answer. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Yeah,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>so why don\u2019t you answer it? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Okay but I hope everyone continues answering this one for themselves. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">I just got sick.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Ahh, ha ha ha right! <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: I got sick. I hid in the library or I got sick. And then when the teacher started calling me a hypochondriac, I was smart enough to know them calling me a big long name in a sort of nasty tone of voice wasn\u2019t very nice of them, when really me being sick was the only way for me to escape the, the pressure and the social ostracisation that I was feeling from being a fish out of water at school. So yeah . . .<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Did you used to drink milk and lemon juice? That\u2019s pretty good at making you vomit. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Haaa Ohh, that\u2019s terrible! ha ha!<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Well you know it\u2019s just one of the tricks I picked up. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: No I didn\u2019t have any friends like you to tell me any of the tricks.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Oh okay.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"> Kim: I was really hopeless at it. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Oh sorry about . . .<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: I was hopeless at pretending I was sick. The best I did was maybe spin around and make myself dizzy. But um nah I just used to tell them that I felt sick and they\u2019d just say they didn\u2019t believe me. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Aww if I was at your school I would have sat and talked to you Kim.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Awwww that\u2019s so nice \ud83d\ude42 <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">So I hope everybody else is working at getting answers for this one, of when you felt overwhelmed by other people\u2019s expectations as a child and how did you respond? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Yeah umm, I used to cry.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Did you? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Yeah a lot. . . I used to &#8211; I still cry a lot. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: No you don\u2019t!<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Huh ha ha ha ha . . . I do!<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: You\u2019re such a fibber!<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Hah ha ha ha. No I get I get, you know<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span>I used<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span>to, no I, I\u2018d get . . . \u00a0and you know our daughter cries a lot too. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Yeah, she does . . .<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: And um I think she got that a bit from me, I don\u2019t cry so much now but as a kid I did, I\u2019d get so overwhelmed and I don\u2019t know maybe that worked. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Ha ha ha ha ha &#8211; I\u2019ve seen you do a lot of things but I haven\u2019t seen you cry. Ha ha ha <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Well okay I\u2019m going back to my childhood now. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: awww okay.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: So<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0n<\/span>o I did I used to get very &#8211; I would find it very hard to find the right words at the right time always as a kid. I\u2019d always walk away from situations where I felt like there was too much happening. That I\u2019d walk away and not feel like I represented myself well.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Ok<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: So you know if I\u2019d cry at least I\u2019m crying, I\u2019m saying something, you know I\u2019m sad, I\u2019m stressed, I\u2019m freaked out, I\u2019m anxious, whatever you know tears say . . .<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Okay so now here\u2019s the really tough one I want you to be honest about this everyone. Is I want you to write down what you do now when you feel you can\u2019t cut it? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">So this might be hard to be honest about? None of it is really pretty. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: I usually like puff myself up and act like I\u2019m better than everyone else. It\u2019s true!<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Ha ha ha &#8211; At least you can be honest about that now!<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Ha ha ha &#8212; Now that I am an adult and I\u2019m working in a work environment with other work mates we often tell stories about prior supreme successes in order to ha ha ha make ourselves feel better. &#8220;Ah yeah I did all that once before yeah years ago . . .&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Yeah <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: &#8220;Yeah, we just smashed that out &#8211; it was all good.&#8221;\u00a0<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Ha ha ha. Well you\u2019re very intuitive ha ha ha<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>&#8211; we are going to get to that in a moment actually.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">This list is sorta pretty long and ugly for most of us I think. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: I think puffing yourself up though I think that\u2019s the answer.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: There\u2019s a long list of what people can do when they feel they\u2019re not cutting it isn\u2019t there? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Mmmm yeah sure . . .<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: They can drink too much, blame somebody else.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Ohh right yeah the actual remedies.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Go on a drug bender. They can blame somebody else, <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: They can <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Blame somebody else<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Become<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Blame somebody else <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Ah ha! <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">And you can get caught up in a consumer sorta lifestyle as well &#8211; people like to act as though buying things sort of creates some meaning for themselves like they are better than others. <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Or they might start blaming sensory stuff, the musics too loud in here, the lights are too bright. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: I always think the music is too loud in places.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Ha ha, but you may actually even believe all that stuff because you are just not used to being really emotionally intelligent about your own responses, so when you start feeling bad instead of saying to yourself maybe I\u2019m not cutting it, maybe I\u2019m feeling insecure. I think it can even<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>become a habit can\u2019t it? That we just look around for something to blame,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>\u201c Ohh &#8212; I hate the colour of those curtains it\u2019s making me sick.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve:<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>This wall papers terrible . . . \u00a0one of us has to go!<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Ha ha ha ha ha<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: That\u2019s an Oscar Wilde joke, not mine, I wish it was mine. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Ha ha ha ha, so you know there is a long list and so I guess this is really about<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>how HONEST we can be about that long and ugly list of the things we can fall into doing when we are feeling we are not making it and we are feeling sorry for ourselves that life is too tough. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: And we are taking the pressure off ourselves and placing it elsewhere to distract ourselves from the actual discomfort we&#8217;re feeling. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Thats right! So one last question!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Mmmm interesting.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: You were sort of hinting and leading to this before, maybe you were peeking and reading ahead, but I think it just . . . <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Ahhh &#8212; I am a bit of a cheat.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Ha ha ha<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>&#8212; It is \u201cWhat image do you hold of yourself in your head. Do you pretend that you are still the person you were when you reached the highest level of success in your life? Or do you take all your successes and failures into account when you think about who you are today?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: I can answer straight away. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Yeah? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Yeah I skip over the failure bit. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Ha ha ha ha he he<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: yep.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: And you think a lot of guys do that? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve:<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>Yeah &#8211; yeah <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Like you were saying before they just tell each other stories all day about when they were the greatest? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Sure ha ha we do. Hey guilty as charged. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Ha ha ha<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Totally &#8211; okay so if there has been a massive failure in our life, we would tend to &#8212; as you just described before &#8212; put our discomfort into that failure as it was some kind of misfortune against us. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Mmmm <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Or something else or some circumstance.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: And you\u2019d feel sorry for yourself? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Yeah thats right. Or circumstances led me to this failure and I was innocent and I can feel sorry for myself rather than evaluate the success and failure of my actions and my responses to life<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: And my progress in life . . . \u00a0yeah I think very much so that ahhh we don\u2019t examine those failure honestly enough.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Because really the way that champions work is the opposite of avoiding looking at your failures isn\u2019t it?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Mmmm, Mmmm . . .\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Because really if someone wants to become successful and wants to become a champion they are constantly honing in on and trying to find their failures, trying to find their weak spots, <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Mmmm.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: trying to find the areas that they can improve.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Yeah.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: And you know I\u2019m probably not as\u00a0good at it now, the way I was a few years ago &#8211; but I know you can get yourself into a mind set where you get really excited when you find something you can really improve in yourself. Because you go WOW you know, and the bigger the problem is you go WOW the progress I\u2019m going to make when I get through this! That&#8217;s what Olympic champions do, they are just constantly honing in on something that they can improve about their own performance, they know that they can\u2019t rest on their past win. That it\u2019s all about being open enough and brave enough to look at where they are going wrong, not just look at where they are going right. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">So now I just want you to lastly think about how you can maybe be nicer to yourself and nicer to your family, as the last part of this exercise, by dealing with your stress better, and maybe even think about some things you could study or improve on that might make life a little<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span>easier for you and take the pressure off. I am not talking about jumping on yourself and criticising yourself. But what is it in your life at\u00a0the moment that you could just decide, hey maybe I\u2019ll go and do some remedial reading or I\u2019ll learn to type. Or <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: You know, I\u2019ll do some parent training or &#8211; I don\u2019t know.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Yeah, nobody has enough time to do everything in one lifetime so there is always something.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Yeah that\u2019s right!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: There\u2019s always something you can do to add<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: But something that you can actually just take on yourself that is actually not going to<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span>put pressure on you, its actually going to take pressure off you, it\u2019s going to help you feel less insecure. It\u2019s going to help you feel like you are able to keep up with the expectations around you a little bit better, without you maybe being so harsh on the people around you and also just writing down how you can be nice to yourself and nicer to your family, because I think we all end up falling into the blame game from time to time. If you are guilty of it and your are feeling a bit embarrassed about that, don&#8217;t worry because you are certainly not the first person to have ever felt that way. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Well I can say from first hand experience that you encouraging me to go and do parent training was probably one of the best things that ever happened. I didn\u2019t think I had the time to do it. I thought ahh I don\u2019t want to do this every Tuesday this is crazy, but I was wrong because the skills I learned from there actually did make my life easier in many ways, and it wasn\u2019t really a complicated set of guidelines that I learned from parent training it was really more about just being more comfortable about who I am in many ways. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Because us hanging on to an outdated idea of ourselves and making each other the enemy it just really doesn\u2019t work in a marriage does it? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Thats right Kim, we need to help each other and admit where we might need to do some work on ourselves.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: And thats why some of the first steps in our introductory tutorial are teaching couples that they need to stop demanding so much from each other and they need to stop criticising and complaining so much.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: But we also have to stop blaming our wife and treating her that she is to blame when life gets tough and we get scared. Because You know she\u2019s probably just having a tough time herself<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: And so that gets us back to the comment I promised. Maybe you can read this one Steve. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: T is commenting on an exchange of ours from our last show and she says it was one of the clearest things she has ever heard from us and was very helpful in understanding her spouse:<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\"><br \/>\nShe quotes Kim and I from the last show where we said<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>&#8211; Kim will you help me with this? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Sure, \u00a0I said . . .\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\">\u201cNarcissism develops when a person feels they cannot meet the expectations that are placed on them, and that because they also feel those expectations are in some way unfair, this ends up allowing them to rationalise cheating and other things to get ahead, or other vices to soothe themselves.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\">I think that the really ugly part is that once this pattern starts, they need to keep someone in the role of persecutor in their life, because if their situation stopped being unfair, they would actually have to start competing fairly again.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: And I said . . . Right. You mean they need to feel like they are a victim just to justify their own behavior to themselves.<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: And then I said, \u00a0That\u2019s right. This is why they can be very oversensitive to anything they can grab hold of that maybe makes them feel like they have been victimized. \u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Okay that was the quote but then T <span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span>goes on to say . . .<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s1\">This explains why narcissists are usually men, since it is generally boys we expect a lot out of. Superman and all.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">And so narcissists are generally not concerned with developing understanding and sympathy with someone else, because that would lead to their needing to be kind to the other person. Instead they are concerned with obfuscating and accusing, so that they can justify selfishness. Clarity and understanding and sympathy are the enemies of selfishness and, so narcissists don\u2019t seek after those things. Also, clarity and understanding might expose the fact that the narcissist doesn\u2019t measure up, a fear that was instilled by someone expecting too much from them at some time. It\u2019s better to treat someone as the enemy than to face the fact that you might not measure up as far as they are concerned. So as soon as a wife has a complaint against her husband, no matter how small, he will make her the enemy rather than understand her needs and own up to his faults. So initially, he might act like a decent guy if he\u2019s a mild case, but as soon as she expresses a complaint, the narcissistic machinery will start up, and things will go from bad to worse. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Is this how it is?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Well T,<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>I would say that is exactly how I see it. What do you think Steve? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Yeah over the years I have witnessed so many men who use feeling sorry for themselves about how their wife treats them to justify all kinds of things that really they know deep down are\u00a0wrong and inappropriate. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Mmmm, blame their wives for how they are behaving so bad in the first place<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Yeah and why their life is so ruined. Or dreary or whatever it is they are complaining about.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: But then they are even blaming their wife for what they are doing in response to that, it\u2019s their wife\u2019s fault they are at the pub and it\u2019s their wife\u2019s fault that they are out cheating on them. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Yeah it\u2019s their wife\u2019s fault that they take a job thats on the other side of the country and all that kinda stuff. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Ha ha ha &#8211; easy to blame it on the wife. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: That\u2019s right. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: But I\u2019ve also seen a lot of women who really have no idea why men do this and instead of seeing the pressures that<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span>they\u2019re under and seeing this pattern for what it is. And<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>learning how to break this cycle, they just put pressure on their husband to make them feel better and to do more to take care of their feelings. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Mmmm and that doesn\u2019t ever really work. Because men don\u2019t really respond well to those kind of demands. Especially when there is no flow happening between each other. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">So really it doesn\u2019t make any inroads, it doesn\u2019t break the cycle like you say Kim. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">But you know hopefully this exercise brings a little more understanding and you know maybe there is a road to a little more sympathy for each other with this. And maybe if you agree after this show you might show each other your answers and see if you can\u2019t show a little more understanding to each other and a few less demands of each other. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: I think that is a great idea Steve. And so this is why I see narcissism getting worse in our society. Because with the pressure that rising debt has put on the system &#8211; really there is just more and more pressure on everyone. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: And we need to remember that when we got married we were making a commitment to play on the same team!<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Yeah because team work is really what it is all about isn\u2019t it? And to you guys out there I know that your wives want to help you with the pressures that you\u2019re facing and they want to be part of the solution, because if I know one thing about women it is that they really don\u2019t like being left on the bench.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: Yeah it&#8217;s not a nice feeling being left on the bench is it? Everyone know that! <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">So if you have enjoyed this audio you may enjoy our Reconnect series and that\u2019s designed for couples to listen to together. Theres an accompanying PDF worksheet that comes with it. It\u2019s available on CD or MP3 download . . . <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: Mmmm<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: There\u2019s a link below and it\u2019s a nice way for you to just talk to each other and share a little bit and get closer.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Kim: And it encourages talking points for couples to listen to the audio and then really encourage them into some positive<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>talking points that are really going to help your relationship move forward. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\"><span class=\"s1\">Steve: And don\u2019t forget guys<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 <\/span>go and give your wife a really nice big hug right now!<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"PzVULJSKO0\"><p><a href=\"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/audio-series\/reconnect\/\">Reconnect<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" style=\"position: absolute; visibility: hidden;\" title=\"&#8220;Reconnect&#8221; &#8212; TheNCMarriage.com\" src=\"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/audio-series\/reconnect\/embed\/#?secret=CFY8cAfcam#?secret=PzVULJSKO0\" data-secret=\"PzVULJSKO0\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\"  marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p class=\"p4\">\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Causes of Narcissism: Why it\u2019s Getting Worse &amp; What We Can Do Our Narcissistic\/Codependent Society What is narcissism? In today\u2019s show we continue our discussion on how narcissism develops what pressures are making it worse in our society and some ideas of what we can do. On YouTube: https:\/\/youtu.be\/QWy6HyQMJkYVideo can&#8217;t be loaded because JavaScript is&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2215,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[44],"tags":[107],"post_series":[83],"class_list":["post-2214","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-signs-narcissism","tag-podcasts","post_series-podcasts","entry","has-media"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2214","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2214"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2214\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2215"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2214"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2214"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2214"},{"taxonomy":"post_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_series?post=2214"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}