{"id":313,"date":"2015-08-31T04:10:20","date_gmt":"2015-08-31T04:10:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/the-narcissistic-view-on-life\/"},"modified":"2021-03-05T06:16:57","modified_gmt":"2021-03-05T06:16:57","slug":"the-narcissist","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/the-narcissist\/","title":{"rendered":"The Narcissist"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wpb-content-wrapper\">[vc_row center_row=&#8221;&#8221;][vc_column][vc_column_text css=&#8221;.vc_custom_1614925015336{margin-bottom: 30px !important;}&#8221;]<span class=\"dropcap\">D<\/span><em>o you worry you may be a narcissist? Or maybe you have been called a narcissist by someone you love? If so, Kim and I are here to help!<\/em>[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]<script src=\"https:\/\/fast.wistia.com\/embed\/medias\/sdvvg2aufy.jsonp\" async><\/script><script src=\"https:\/\/fast.wistia.com\/assets\/external\/E-v1.js\" async><\/script><\/p>\n<div class=\"wistia_responsive_padding\" style=\"padding: 56.25% 0 0 0; position: relative;\">\n<div class=\"wistia_responsive_wrapper\" style=\"height: 100%; left: 0; position: absolute; top: 0; width: 100%;\">\n<div class=\"wistia_embed wistia_async_sdvvg2aufy videoFoam=true\" style=\"height: 100%; position: relative; width: 100%;\">\n<div class=\"wistia_swatch\" style=\"height: 100%; left: 0; opacity: 0; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 0; transition: opacity 200ms; width: 100%;\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"filter: blur(5px); height: 100%; object-fit: contain; width: 100%;\" src=\"https:\/\/fast.wistia.com\/embed\/medias\/sdvvg2aufy\/swatch\" alt=\"\" \/><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n[\/vc_column_text]<div class=\"vcex-spacing wpex-w-100 wpex-clear\" style=\"height:15px;\"><\/div>[vc_column_text]Are you ready to take the challenge of becoming a better leader in your home? 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!important; }<\/style><div class=\"fca_eoi_form_wrapper fca_eoi_layout_postbox_wrapper fca_eoi_layout_15_wrapper\"><div id=\"fca_eoi_form_3237\" class=\"fca_eoi_form_content\"><form method=\"post\" action=\"#\" class=\"fca_eoi_form fca_eoi_layout_15 fca_eoi_layout_postbox \" data-fca_eoi_list_id=\"4870837\" data-fca_eoi_push_page=\"\" data-fca_eoi_success_cookie_duration=\"365\" data-fca_eoi_thank_you_page=\"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/intro-tutorial\/\" data-fca_eoi_thank_you_mode=\"redirect\" data-fca_eoi_sub_msg=\"Subscribing...\"><input type=\"hidden\" id=\"fca_eoi_form_id\" name=\"fca_eoi_form_id\" value=\"3237\">\n  <div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_content_wrapper\">\n    <div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_headline_copy_wrapper fca_eoi_form_text_element\">\n  <div>Steve\u2019s Steps to a Better Marriage<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_description_copy_wrapper fca_eoi_form_text_element\">\n  <div>Free Introductory Tutorial<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_inputs_wrapper fca_eoi_layout_inputs_wrapper\">\n  <div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_name_field_wrapper fca_eoi_layout_field_wrapper\">\n    <div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_name_field_inner fca_eoi_layout_field_inner\">\n      <input class=\"fca_eoi_form_input_element\" type=\"text\" name=\"name\" placeholder=\"First Name\">\n    <\/div>\n  <\/div>\n  <div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_email_field_wrapper fca_eoi_layout_field_wrapper\">\n    <div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_email_field_inner fca_eoi_layout_field_inner\">\n      <input class=\"fca_eoi_form_input_element\" type=\"email\" name=\"email\" placeholder=\"Best Email\">\n    <\/div>\n  <\/div>\n  <div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_submit_button_wrapper\"><input class=\"fca_eoi_form_button_element\" type=\"submit\" value=\"Free Instant Access\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_privacy_copy_wrapper fca_eoi_form_text_element\">\n  <div>100% Privacy - The tutorial will open on this page<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n  <\/div>\n<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"fca_eoi\" value=\"1\">\n\t\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"fca_eoi_error_texts_email\" class=\"fca_eoi_error_texts_email\" value=\"Please enter a valid email address. For example &quot;example@example.com&quot;.\">\n\t\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"fca_eoi_error_texts_required\" class=\"fca_eoi_error_texts_required\" value=\"Please fill out this field to continue\"><\/form><\/div><\/div>\n[\/vc_column_text]<div class=\"vcex-spacing wpex-w-100 wpex-clear\" style=\"height:15px;\"><\/div>[\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row center_row=&#8221;&#8221; margin_top=&#8221;-30px&#8221;][vc_column margin_top=&#8221;-30px&#8221;][vc_column_text]\n<h2>Narcissism &amp; Marriage<\/h2>\n<figure id=\"attachment_22\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-22\" style=\"width: 123px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Steve.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-22 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/Steve.png\" alt=\"Steve Cooper discusses being called a narcissist\" width=\"123\" height=\"142\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-22\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Steve Cooper<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span class=\"dropcap\" style=\"color: #150636;\">A<\/span>fter 13 years of helping couples in crisis, Kim and I do not consider narcissism a mental illness but more a <span style=\"color: #150636;\"><strong><em>destructive stereotyped role that men and (some) women play<\/em><\/strong>. Rather than labelling and condemning yourself or someone else as a narcissist, let&#8217;s label and condemn the behaviour instead!<br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #150621;\"><em>Did you grow up believing as long as you get what you want,\u00a0the end always justifies the means? <\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #150621;\"><em>Did you have more expected of you than you felt was realistic for you to achieve? <\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #150621;\"><em>Was lying the only way you felt able to keep people off your back?\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #150621;\"><em>Do you hide things from your marriage partner? Such as pornography, romance novels, affairs, crushes, hidden lines of credit (credit cards) or plans for the future?<\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #150621;\"><em>Do you excuse behaviour that upsets your wife or husband, by comparing yourself to people who behave worse than you? <\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #150621;\"><em>You control the money in your household and watch all of your partner\u2019s spending? Leaving your partner limited funds, while you hoard money or hide money transactions and\/or lines of credit (credit cards) to buy yourself luxuries, treats or indulgences (or make investments in your name), thinking you deserve more than an equal share &#8211; or perhaps unfairly blaming your partner for your current financial situation?<\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Back when Kim and I were fighting, I knew I wasn&#8217;t doing the right thing by my family, but in reality, I was even unhappier than them. <span style=\"color: #150636;\"><strong><em>It is hard to let your family be happy when you are unhappy yourself.<\/em><\/strong><\/span> Before I tell you how we saved our marriage, there is something I need to share first.<\/p>\n<p>There was a time I was labelled &#8216;mentally ill&#8217; because I displayed the symptoms above. Below I am going to share that story with you . . .[\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]Are you ready to take the challenge of bringing peace to your home? 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fca_eoi_layout_15 fca_eoi_layout_postbox \" data-fca_eoi_list_id=\"4870837\" data-fca_eoi_push_page=\"\" data-fca_eoi_success_cookie_duration=\"365\" data-fca_eoi_thank_you_page=\"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/intro-tutorial\/\" data-fca_eoi_thank_you_mode=\"redirect\" data-fca_eoi_sub_msg=\"Subscribing...\"><input type=\"hidden\" id=\"fca_eoi_form_id\" name=\"fca_eoi_form_id\" value=\"3237\">\n  <div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_content_wrapper\">\n    <div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_headline_copy_wrapper fca_eoi_form_text_element\">\n  <div>Steve\u2019s Steps to a Better Marriage<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_description_copy_wrapper fca_eoi_form_text_element\">\n  <div>Free Introductory Tutorial<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_inputs_wrapper fca_eoi_layout_inputs_wrapper\">\n  <div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_name_field_wrapper fca_eoi_layout_field_wrapper\">\n    <div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_name_field_inner fca_eoi_layout_field_inner\">\n      <input class=\"fca_eoi_form_input_element\" type=\"text\" name=\"name\" placeholder=\"First Name\">\n    <\/div>\n  <\/div>\n  <div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_email_field_wrapper fca_eoi_layout_field_wrapper\">\n    <div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_email_field_inner fca_eoi_layout_field_inner\">\n      <input class=\"fca_eoi_form_input_element\" type=\"email\" name=\"email\" placeholder=\"Best Email\">\n    <\/div>\n  <\/div>\n  <div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_submit_button_wrapper\"><input class=\"fca_eoi_form_button_element\" type=\"submit\" value=\"Free Instant Access\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"fca_eoi_layout_privacy_copy_wrapper fca_eoi_form_text_element\">\n  <div>100% Privacy - The tutorial will open on this page<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n  <\/div>\n<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"fca_eoi\" value=\"1\">\n\t\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"fca_eoi_error_texts_email\" class=\"fca_eoi_error_texts_email\" value=\"Please enter a valid email address. For example &quot;example@example.com&quot;.\">\n\t\t\t<input type=\"hidden\" name=\"fca_eoi_error_texts_required\" class=\"fca_eoi_error_texts_required\" value=\"Please fill out this field to continue\"><\/form><\/div><\/div>\n[\/vc_column_text]<div class=\"vcex-spacing wpex-w-100 wpex-clear\" style=\"height:60px;\"><\/div>[vc_separator][vc_column_text]\n<h3>They Said I was a Narcissist!<\/h3>\n<p><span class=\"dropcap\">Y<\/span>ears ago\u00a0when Kim was looking for help with our marriage, she was scared badly by the online expert* on <a href=\"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/definition-narcissistic\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Narcissistic Personality Disorder<\/a> who described my self centered behaviour to a T.<\/p>\n<p>Kim spoke to other professionals who agreed that I was a narcissist.\u00a0 Because this disorder was incurable (this has since been changed in the latest DSM due in part to our work), they pronounced &#8216;no hope&#8217; for our marriage and declared the only smart choice Kim could make was to leave me.<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"color: #150621;\">I am lucky I have a smart wife who\u00a0found better advice<\/span><\/h4>\n<p>Even though Kim wouldn&#8217;t accept I had an incurable mental disorder &#8211; the behaviour I was displaying was very real and very hurtful to her.<\/p>\n<p>It took a long time for me to look at myself. I hope you don&#8217;t make that same mistake.<\/p>\n<p>A few years down the track when things were much better between us, I made the decision to support Kim in sharing what we did to turn our marriage around by helping her become an author.<\/p>\n<p>Before you risk having the professionals tell your wife <em><strong>to take the kids and leave<\/strong><\/em>, I suggest you give the information she has put together some serious consideration . . .[\/vc_column_text]<div class=\"vcex-spacing wpex-w-100 wpex-clear\" style=\"height:40px;\"><\/div>[vc_column_text]Everyone likes an easy scapegoat\u2014probably in marriage more than anywhere else. Because the tag &#8216;narcissist&#8217; has become such a powerful &#8216;demoniser&#8217;, it&#8217;s no wonder that it gets so much use!<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"color: #150621;\">Looking for the &#8216;lone shooter&#8217; (that killed your romantic happily ever after) is so much easier than looking deeper<\/span><\/h4>\n<p>The problem is that narcissism doesn&#8217;t just dwell in individuals. It is a belief system that is at work in just about every aspect of our lives. At each and every turn we find ourselves surrounded by narcissism in our society. Make sure you protect your family from this dangerous trap![\/vc_column_text]<div class=\"vcex-spacing wpex-w-100 wpex-clear\" style=\"height:40px;\"><\/div>[vc_separator][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row center_row=&#8221;&#8221;][vc_column][vc_custom_heading text=&#8221;Signs of Narcissism&#8221; font_container=&#8221;tag:h3|text_align:left&#8221; use_theme_fonts=&#8221;yes&#8221; link=&#8221;url:%2Fthe-narcissist%2Fsigns-of-narcissism%2F|||&#8221;]<div class=\"vcex-spacing wpex-w-100 wpex-clear\"><\/div>[vc_column_text]Are you a narcissist? Are you married to a narcissist? Do you know the difference between love that hurts and love that heals? We have the information you have been looking for:<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/home\/the-narcissist\/signs-of-narcissism\/\">Learn the Signs of Narcissism<\/a><\/p>\n[\/vc_column_text]<div class=\"vcex-spacing wpex-w-100 wpex-clear\" style=\"height:40px;\"><\/div>[vc_separator]<div class=\"vcex-spacing wpex-w-100 wpex-clear\" style=\"height:40px;\"><\/div>[vc_row_inner][vc_column_inner]<style>.vcex-feature-box.vcex_6a3d9b8cc9055 .vcex-feature-box-heading{font-family:'Merriweather Sans';font-weight:600;}@media (min-width:640px){.vcex-feature-box.vcex_6a3d9b8cc9055 .vcex-feature-box-content{width:55%;}.vcex-feature-box.vcex_6a3d9b8cc9055 .vcex-feature-box-media{width:45%;}}<\/style><div class=\"vcex-module vcex-feature-box vcex-feature-box--stackable wpex-flex wpex-flex-col wpex-sm-flex-row-reverse wpex-sm-justify-between wpex-gap-30 left-content-right-image vcex_6a3d9b8cc9055\"><div class=\"vcex-feature-box-media wpex-sm-text-right\"><div class=\"vcex-feature-box-image wpex-relative\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wpex-align-middle wpex-object-cover\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/Narcissism-Blog-Angelican-Huston-100x150.png\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/Narcissism-Blog-Angelican-Huston-100x150.png 100w, https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/Narcissism-Blog-Angelican-Huston-200x300.png 200w, https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/Narcissism-Blog-Angelican-Huston.png 240w\" width=\"100\" height=\"150\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"vcex-feature-box-content\"><a href=\"\/narcissist\/narcissism-spotting\/\" title=\"\"class=\"vcex-feature-box-heading-link wpex-no-underline\"><h4 class=\"vcex-feature-box-heading wpex-heading wpex-text-lg wpex-mb-20\">Celebrity Narcissist Spotting . . .<\/h4><\/a><div class=\"vcex-feature-box-text wpex-last-mb-0 wpex-clr\"><p>Don&#8217;t fall for the lie that narcissists are psychopaths . . .\u00a0 Examples of Narcissists in popular culture . . .<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right\"><a title=\"Narcissism Spotting\" href=\"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/narcissist\/narcissism-spotting\/\">Narcissism Spotting<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>[\/vc_column_inner][\/vc_row_inner][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]*Sam Vaknin the supposed expert on NPD, claimed he was a narcissist <em>but instead was diagnosed (on TV) as being a psychopath!<\/em> Please make sure you don&#8217;t let people fool you or your spouse into believing that being a narcissist and a psychopath\u00a0are the same thing!<br \/>\n[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mayoclinic.org\/diseases-conditions\/narcissistic-personality-disorder\/symptoms-causes\/syc-20366662\"><span style=\"font-size: 13px;\">https:\/\/www.mayoclinic.org\/diseases-conditions\/narcissistic-personality-disorder\/symptoms-causes\/syc-20366662<\/span><\/a>[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are You a Narcissist? 3 Questions to Ask Yourself to Know it&#8217;s Not You  . . .<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1378,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-313","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","entry","has-media"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/313","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=313"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/313\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1378"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thencmarriage\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=313"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}