{"id":5936,"date":"2016-09-30T16:14:54","date_gmt":"2016-09-30T06:14:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.narcissismcured.com\/blog\/?p=5936"},"modified":"2016-09-30T17:32:42","modified_gmt":"2016-09-30T07:32:42","slug":"build-success-from-the-inside-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/build-success-from-the-inside-out\/","title":{"rendered":"Success is Built from the Inside Out"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wpb-content-wrapper\">[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]\n<p><center><\/center><center><em><strong>\u201cDo you give your best to the people close to you?<\/strong><\/em><br \/>\n<em><strong> Or do you expect them to accept your very worst?<\/strong><\/em><br \/>\n<em><strong> Do you display strength, patience and self control\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><em><strong>with those you love, making them feel safe and valued by you?<\/strong><\/em><br \/>\n<em><strong> Or do you expect your family to tolerate and support your weakest character traits (and exhaustion), while you give your best to your friends and your work?<div class=\"vcex-spacing wpex-w-100 wpex-clear\" style=\"height:8px;\"><\/div><\/strong><\/em><\/center><center><strong>Is home even where you really want to be?<\/strong><em><strong>&#8220;<em><strong><div class=\"vcex-spacing wpex-w-100 wpex-clear\" style=\"height:5px;\"><\/div><\/strong><\/em><\/strong><\/em><\/center><center><em>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/em><\/center>[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]\n<p><center><\/center>True happiness and success are built from the inside out . . .\u00a0 if you want to live joyously with others, the first person you must have a good relationship with is yourself!<\/p>\n<p>So, stop and ask yourself right now: Are you truly at peace with yourself?<\/p>\n<p>Or are there things about yourself you are not proud of that you try hard not to think about? If so, I wonder what it is in your life that might need to change in order for you to find inner peace?<\/p>\n<p>It\u00a0is only by being at peace with ourselves that we can ever be at peace with anyone else in our life. Likewise, the health of all of our relationships can be determined by the health of the relationships we nurture with those closest to home.<\/p>\n<p>There is a saying on the farm: &#8220;If there are weeds at the back door, there will be weeds to the fence&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Likewise if our closest relationships are difficult or sour, success in other areas won\u2019t ever make our life sweet.<\/p>\n<p>The reverse is also true . . .<\/p>\n<p>If our home life is sweet then we will enjoy its sanctuary from all the various troubles in the outer world.<\/p>\n<p>There are many things to distract us from having solid and healthy relationships with our family but nothing that will replace its value in our life.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/embed-ssl.ted.com\/talks\/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_study_on_happiness.html\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>There is nothing the world needs more right now than stable and functional families . . . one healthy family can even act as an anchor and positive example for a whole community.<\/p>\n<p>So, who do we have around us to model a happy home life on? The Simpsons or other dysfunctional families on TV? The humor of these programs fades, if there are no healthy families present in our lives to compare these characters to. Where do children learn correct behavior, if all they experience at home is dysfunction and all they see is satire on TV?<\/p>\n<p>If your home is currently troubled . . . will the restoration of peace and respect begin with you? And, if not, with who? If your family is dysfunctional, stability can be rebuilt\u00a0<em>but it will only happen one member at a time.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Learning to understand our own personal strengths and weaknesses while giving honest attention to the gaps in our development will help us mature into stronger team players, ready to support those in our family members who have less self awareness.<\/p>\n<p>The steps and advice you will be challenged with in this series of articles and movies cannot all be tackled and mastered at once. This work must be taken one step at a time.<\/p>\n<p>You will also need to forgive yourself and chart your progress honestly.<\/p>\n<p>1. Do you blow up at your kids in unhealthy ways?<\/p>\n<p>2. Do you make unreasonable demands on\u00a0your partner or friends to take responsibility for your feelings?<\/p>\n<p>Look honestly at these questions right now.<\/p>\n<p>How often has this happened in the past and how often does it happen now?<\/p>\n<p>If these episodes are becoming less frequent, you are doing well.<\/p>\n<p>Learning to regulate your emotions and practice new emotional responses is like exercise; every time you do it you get stronger and better at it. It will be difficult and will even feel unnatural at first, but like driving a car, the new behavior will eventually become second nature and step by step you can move on to bigger and better goals.<\/p>\n<p>Picture yourself now as part of a family where you are known and loved and where all of the members are respected and growing to their full potential. Imagine what it would really be like to be part of that right now . . .<\/p>\n<p>This exercise is important because the feeling will give you the motivation to do the work that is ahead of you, including facing the not so pleasant task of examining your own worst behavior.<\/p>\n<p>We must each find the courage to look at the worst in ourselves if will ever have the courage to achieve our best.<\/p>\n<p>The ideas that we will present in this series can and do work and if you are at all like Steve or myself, the reward for your efforts may be beyond what you now believe possible . . . \u00a0these ideas are not academic but are ideas that need to be put into action to work . . .<\/p>\n<p><strong>Exercises<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Imagine losing everything you have right now, including your health . . . imagine being stuck in a hospital bed with nothing but yourself and your own thoughts to live with. Do this now for at least 2 minutes . . .<\/p>\n<p>I wonder could you live peacefully with yourself? Or are there thoughts about yourself and your life that would not give you rest?<\/p>\n<p>From this place I want you to ask yourself what in your life needs to change?<\/p>\n<p>Think about your relationships with those closest to you. Without blaming anyone or anything, just answer the question; Are they healthy and happy or is there disappointment and discord?<\/p>\n<p>If your closest relationships are unhappy, there are relationship skills you probably need to learn. What would it feel like to have better relationships? What will happen if you keep blaming these problems on someone else?<\/p>\n<p>Imagine being known and loved by your family and all of its members. Then imagine each member being respected and appreciated and each of you growing to your full potential. . .<\/p>\n<p>Really feel what it would be like to be part of this type of family right now . . .<\/p>\n<p>Remember, that it is this feeling that will continue to inspire you to change your habits and do the work.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Not Subscribed to The Love Safety Net yet?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Check out the details here . . .<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a title=\"The Love Boat\" href=\"http:\/\/www.narcissismcured.com\/blog\/the-love-boat\/\">Learn What Your Emotions are Telling You!\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] \u201cDo you give your best to the people close to you? Or do you expect them to accept your very worst? Do you display strength, patience and self control\u00a0with those you love, making them feel safe and valued by you? Or do you expect your family to tolerate and support your weakest character traits&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":321,"featured_media":5940,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[334],"tags":[],"post_series":[],"class_list":["post-5936","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-codependency-self-help","entry","has-media"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/the-love-safety-Net-e1538625182451.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5936","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/321"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5936"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5936\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5940"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5936"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5936"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5936"},{"taxonomy":"post_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_series?post=5936"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}