{"id":6009,"date":"2016-10-06T21:24:21","date_gmt":"2016-10-06T10:24:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.narcissismcured.com\/blog\/?page_id=6009"},"modified":"2018-01-22T15:40:54","modified_gmt":"2018-01-22T04:40:54","slug":"anger-2","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/anger-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Anger"},"content":{"rendered":"
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_video link=”https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=XAkeojpO2ys” align=”center” css=”.vc_custom_1487990965266{margin-top: 0px !important;margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row css=”.vc_custom_1487990842013{margin-top: 0px !important;margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”][vc_column css=”.vc_custom_1487990689649{margin-top: 0px !important;margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”][vc_column_text]Movie Transcript<\/strong><\/p>\n

Steve:<\/strong> Hi, I\u2019m Steve.<\/p>\n

Kim:<\/strong> And I\u2019m Kim.<\/p>\n

Steve:<\/strong> In this video, we’re going to be discussing the topic and the emotion of anger. Anger can be a crutch that people reach for, every time they feel weak or vulnerable.<\/p>\n

Kim:<\/strong> This is because anger can work very quickly to make us feel powerful and make us feel better when we’re in this situation and, because of this, anger can be quite addictive. It might make you feel guilty and ashamed afterwards . . . but seeing that anger can be enjoyable in the moment, will help you learn to better regulate it.<\/p>\n

Why do we experience anger and what is it good for?<\/p>\n

Steve:<\/strong> It helps us see how we want to be treated and helps us recognise when we’re being disrespected, exploited or manipulated. But you can’t learn what your anger is trying to warn you of . . . if you let it control you in the heat of the moment.<\/p>\n

Kim:<\/strong> It’s very important when you get angry, that you don’t listen to the voice inside your head. That voice is just about always going to give you bad advice. What we recommend is that you make a note of what triggered your anger in the first place. . . tell the person you are angry with that you need some time to cool down and then make a firm decision to not do anything about this, or to even think about it again, until you have calmed down. Sometimes, this might take a couple of days.<\/p>\n

Steve:<\/strong> After you have written down what has troubled you, it will give you the head space to forget about it . . . and enjoy an activity that will soothe you. Learning to find your own sense of clam and happiness again after you’ve been upset, is one of the most important emotional intelligence skills you can ever learn.<\/p>\n

Kim:<\/strong> This is not the same as ignoring your anger or repressing it. Learning to recognise when your anger is becoming aroused and immediately making a note of what triggered that, is honouring your anger and paying heed to it.\u00a0 You need to give the problem your full thought and attention later but only after you have completely calmed down and your upper cortex is active again.<\/p>\n

Steve:<\/strong> Giving yourself that time to settle down, gives you the chance to make the right decision. If you are thinking thoughts of getting even or of yourself as a victim, there’s a good chance that you haven’t calmed down yet.<\/p>\n

Kim:<\/strong> It’s amazing how differently we can see the same situation a couple of days later but you may still need to do some work on strengthening that boundary that’s been crossed! We offer exercises for this in the chapter called ‘Limiting Abuse’ in the ‘Love Safety Net Workbook’. Another aspect of anger that isn’t talked about enough, is using anger as a tool to manipulate your partner.<\/p>\n

Steve:<\/strong> Nobody likes to feel like they are being manipulated by someone else’s emotions.<\/p>\n

Kim:<\/strong>\u00a0This is a very common thing to do, however. So, I will give you a little bit of an idea what it looks like. Your partner has done something to upset you but rather than self-soothe and take care of your emotions first . . . instead, you stay angry and stew on it and then insist that your partner do something to make you feel better.<\/p>\n

Steve:<\/strong> This will only breed resentment and won’t bring you closer to your partner at all. Not only is this manipulation but it is ugly and rarely works because anger is a terrible way to motivate someone to do what you want them to.<\/p>\n

Kim:<\/strong> The voice in your head may tell you that you need to stay angry and demand that they make it up to you. . . or else you’ll become a pushover by letting them get away with what they have done . . . but nothing could be further from the truth. There are much better ways to ensure that people respect you. . . than insisting someone make you feel better!” You’ll actually become stronger as you learn to stop letting your partner push your buttons if you take control of your own happiness and learn to self-soothe and calm down by yourself.<\/p>\n

Steve:<\/strong> Learning to self-soothe, will stop you being a pushover every time you choose to let your anger go and calm down . . . You’ll become better\u00a0at self-soothing and learn to do it quicker next time. This is called your Vagus Nerve Response (VNR) and it is the best known indicator for success in life.<\/p>\n

Kim:<\/strong> Because successful people don’t make decisions in the heat of the moment!<\/p>\n

Steve:\u00a0<\/strong>We really hope you found this video helpful and thank you for taking part in the Love Safety Net Love Boat Cruise.<\/p>\n

Kim:<\/strong> To join us on our tour of the emotions, please look for the subscriber link below.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not Subscribed to The Love Safety Net Yet?<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Check out the details here . . .<\/p>\n

Learn What Your Emotions are Telling You!\u00a0<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_video link=”https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=XAkeojpO2ys” align=”center” css=”.vc_custom_1487990965266{margin-top: 0px !important;margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row css=”.vc_custom_1487990842013{margin-top: 0px !important;margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”][vc_column css=”.vc_custom_1487990689649{margin-top: 0px !important;margin-bottom: 0px !important;}”][vc_column_text]Movie Transcript Steve: Hi, I\u2019m Steve. Kim: And I\u2019m Kim. Steve: In this video, we’re going to be discussing the topic and the emotion of anger. Anger can be a crutch that people reach for, every time they…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":446,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":27,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-6009","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry","entry","no-media"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6009","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/446"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6009"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6009\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/narcissismcured.com\/thelovesafetynet\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6009"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}