You are a Powerhouse!

Let’s Give this Challenge Energy!

Before we can become effective leaders in our home, we need to make sure we have some real energy for this work!

This might be tough if we have withdrawn from family life or the energy we have for our family may have become negative.

Let’s Get Energized!

First let’s decide exactly what we want to spend our energy on and where we will get that energy from. To honestly take this challenge on, it is likely that some of our priorities will need to change.

I have recently had an honest look at myself and this is want my situation currently looks like:

What my engine currently drives:

• Work & financial responsibilities
• Eating and drinking
• Thinking about things I want to do in my life
• Trying to keep my boss and family off my back
• Spending time with Kim and the kids
• Thinking about how I can gain recognition and glory for my ideas
• Surfing the internet

I have decided that instead I want my list to look more like this:

What I would like to be powering instead:

• Improving my management skills at home and at work
• Becoming a better father
• Becoming a better husband
• Negotiating my needs and concerns in a productive way
• Maintaining a good fitness level & comfortable weight
• Supporting & encouraging my family to develop and achieve shared and personal goals
• Working as a team player

You might notice I don’t have much time on this list for recreation or my mates. Cutting down my time for those interests is a decision I made a long time ago. Like many men I saw that I tended to express my ‘fun self’ outside the family and was leaving my family the dregs, because of this I will add one more to my list;

• Create more laughter and joy in our home.

Where I get my fuel from currently:

• Coffee
• Food
• Social interaction with my community
• Faith in God
• A sense of duty
• Self-pity
• Self-righteous indignation
• Fantasizing about being recognized and praised

Obviously, some of these are neither attractive nor in my family’s best interest, and so I have decided I would like the list to look more like this . . .

Where I would like my fuel to come from instead:

• Burning fat (exercise)
• Water
• Sunshine
• Love & devotion
• A strong sense of self-worth
• Faith in God
• Faith that my efforts will achieve positive results for my family and community
• Faith in my family
• Social interaction with my community
• Food

Metaphors at work

After doing the Baggage Dumper Program (developed by Dallas Fell and my wife Kim), I learned just how powerful metaphors can be. After the great results, I got from that program, Kim and I used the same ideas Dallas shared with us there to develop an exercise to help us get our energy systems running smooth and clean.

This exercise works on using the metaphor that we are an engine that can choose its own outputs and fuel.

Please take a moment to join me in this exercise by making your own lists like the ones I have made above.

The exercise

After you have made your lists (and be honest because no one is looking!) imagine the following:

Imagine yourself as a very special engine, with multiple fuel lines running in and multiple energy cables channelling energy out.

Once you have imagined this, go through the following checklist to get your engine set up for your requirements and highly tuned.

Imagine each of the following:

• Put your system temporarily on standby and decide that you will devote the time necessary to complete this work.
• Ground or earth your electrical system (don’t just imagine this, if possible take your shoes off and go outside.)
• Shield your system from external (energy) hijack or disruption. Turn your phone off and do whatever you must to make sure you will not be disrupted.
• Detach from inferior fuel sources and see yourself drawing power from the better sources you have chosen on your list.
• Imagine cables unplugging from activities that draw power away from your chosen activities and you plugging into the more productive activities you have chosen on your list.
• Now unplug any old cords that send energy outwards that may have ended up plugged back into yourself (causing potential overload).

Eg. In my case this included anger that I sometimes felt towards Kim and the kids (often fueled by self-pity) which I tried not to express but fed back into myself. I unplugged the receiving end of these kinds of cables and plugged them into a commitment to productive negotiation instead.

• Clear of all resistance from the system:

Are you hearing internal objections to this process? If so answer them with a response that shuts them down without arguing. For instance, if your inner objection says, “Hey but what about me? I work hard enough, why shouldn’t I get time to relax?” you could say something to yourself like, “Sure I work hard but changing my habits might end up more relaxing than time-wasting stuff – let’s just give this a go!” Or, “They will want too much from me.”Could be answered with, “Maybe they will and maybe they won’t but that’s no reason not to try.” In both of these cases I didn’t argue with the inner objection (and this is a skill we will work on later) I just said until the idea was tested it was no reason not to proceed.

• Add shielding of all new cables and connections and extra shielding to the system as a whole: Use imaginary insulation of any sort and barriers for shielding made of conductive or magnetic materials, gaskets or anything you choose.
• Balance the inputs and outputs to match perfectly.
• Check once again that your system is earthed.
• Switch from standby now with full power devoted back to the system.
• Experience yourself effortlessly controlling all inputs and outputs as needed

How do you feel now? Ready to get started? If so please go back to The Foundation Page and if you haven’t already, get your trigger Journal set up.

 

Learning to notice when your engine needs adjustment or repair 

Just like taking care of our car, there is no shame that our system might get out of whack sometimes, it is just up to us to notice and come back to make the required repairs! This is known as self-monitoring and is a core emotional intelligence skill.

Still Have Energy Blockages?

Do you find you are hanging onto a ‘laundry list’ of old grievances? Or that negative emotions settle over you that you find hard to shift? If so and you found the above exercise energizing, you may like to check out Baggage Dumper Instant Access, put together by our friend and associate Dallas Fell.

 

Finished the exercise? Come discuss your experience in our private Facebook classroom: